He knew

God.
When you found me,
I was alone with Myself.

I looked at my smiling face
I was so tired.
I knew I’d failed-
I knew I was empty.
Fierce anger rushed up inside me.
I slapped my face 
Threw myself down to the dirt
ripped my skin with my nails
Tore Myself up in an agonized fury.

And as I destroyed Myself,
I wept.
Cause I was so frail beneath my hands.

I was made of forced confidence
Sewn hastily with self preservation
And laugher.
Thrown together overnight 
In a desperate attempt to be strong
When there was only fear to face.
I knew I didn’t know what to do.
I didn’t have any answers.
I lived off Myself
Until there was nothing left except a hollow laugh. 

I knew.

When Myself was dead-
when the one I’d depended on was gone-
I saw what I had done.
And pulled her body to my chest
And screamed 
As sorrow swept through me 
in a scalding torrent I couldn’t escape.


You came to me then.
When my hands were covered
in my own blood-
when my despair and isolation were killing me
as I cradled the remains of a person I’d tried to be.
It was then you came.

You pried my hands from the mangled corpse.
You carried me away as I wept on your chest-
As I ruined your shirt with my tears and blood.
But you held me
And you knew, you knew, you knew!
You understood.
And I realized it
When I felt your tears on my cheeks.
We cried.
Together.
No sorrow can withstand the touch of my God.
His gentle hand
Draws away the pain
Like a sponge 
He shares it all.
He knows, he knows, he knows.

I’ve never found freedom
Like the kind I found
Lying in God’s arms.